John Egbert vs The World
by eridansscarvves
Summary: In which John Egbert fights for the heart of the super cool Dave Strider.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone!  
>By golly, sure is awesome to be here!<br>I guess I'm well and truly part of the Homestuck fandom, huh? Meh, I don't mind so much.

Gah, I've had this idea for a while, and I freaking love this AU so much, man. I think with every fandom I've been in, I've had this idea. But only now have I put it into action.

Copyrights:  
>All the characters, Homestuck in general (c) Lord Hussie. Bow to him.<br>The idea, Scott Pilgrim in general (c) Bryan Lee O'Malley. Bow to him also, cus he's awesome.

Let's go!

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><p><strong>Reader: Be John Egbert.<strong>

You are John Egbert, and right now, life is pretty damn awesome.

"John Egbert is dating a high schooler?"

That is, until expert drummer/best friend/cranky ginger extraordinaire Karkat Vantas finished his morning coffee and finally understood what the hell you were talking about last night at band practise. The band knew you were finally (after months of lamenting) going out with someone new, but it seemed no-one suspected that you would be dating someone still in school

"Really? Is she hot?" Dirk asked, looking at you over his own cup of warm coffee (black, because only chicks and Karkat have it otherwise), a blonde eyebrow raised over triangular and totally rad shades.

"How old are you now, John? Like twenty five?" Karkat still wouldn't shut up about the age thing.

"I'm not playing your little games, Karkat." You said with a light tone, too content to be put in a bad mood by your drummer. You glanced over at your two band mates and number-one-SBURB-super-fan that had joined the crowded breakfast table, a small smile on your face.

The room is silent for a second or two before Karkat started asking "So you've been out of high school for like eight years, and-"

"I'm twenty three, Karkat! Twenty three!" You snapped, fishing the tea-bag (you never were one for coffee, like the others) out of the cup of steaming black tea. Milk and sugar are obviously required to make the drink ready for consumption, you noted. "Jeez, we're the same age..."

"And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad..." Dirk concluded with a rare half-smile, taking a sip of his coffee. "Can't believe a derp like you would pull something like that off without blowing it, though."

"Dating a-come on, what does that even mean?" Karkat demanded from you, running a hand through his short fiery locks. You laughed at his confusion of the situation and screwed the cap of the milk bottle back on, putting it away in the fridge.

"It means that I'm dating a girl younger than me~" You sang with a small nod, going to sit down by Roxy.

"I know that, fuckass..." Karkat growled behind his coffee cup, adamant on having the last word, and like the good friend you are, you let him.

"So, yeah, like, have you guys 'done it' yet?" She asked you, giggling slightly. You suspected she was slightly tipsy, having 'irished' (as Karkat put it) up her coffee, but who are you to judge? She was a sweet girl, but you really wish she'd stop drinking so much. At least until she turns twenty one.

"Well, we sort of ride the bus to the arcade, and she tells me about how her anime and LARPing clubs went, and about her friends, and, ya know...high school drama..." You rambled, crossing your ankles under the table and taking a sip of your tea.

"Yeah, okay..." Dirk said, chewing a slice of toast, covered in orange marmalade. "Have you even kissed her yet?" He asked, his mouth full.

"We almost held hands the other day, but she got embarrassed..." You said with a small grin, remembering the blush on your girlfriend's cheeks, and the way she muttered her apology so cutely, sipping your tea happily.

"Well, don't you seem pleased as punch." Karkat piped up again, his mouth full of Dirk's stolen toast.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You said in a sing song manner, smiling pleasantly at Karkat. He returned your smile with a middle finger.

"So, what's her name then?" Dirk asked curiously.

"Nepeta Leijon. She's Swedish." You replied, still smiling like a fool, putting your cup of tea down on the table.

"That's wicked!" Roxy said with a grin. "Where'd you meet her, anyway?"

You smiled again, and took a slice of toast covered in raspberry jam, biting into it. "I believe I mentioned the bus before...?"

**John: Be Nepeta Leijon.**

You are Nepeta Leijon, and you're on a bus.

"Sherman is a nice boy! You like him!"

You're on a bus with your overly doting mother because she thought it would be nice to meet you on the bus today. Normally, you can get home yourself without any trouble (this is Toronto, for Christ's sake) and prefer to, as it gives you a chance to stop off at the arcade for a quick game of DDR (which you're awesome at) or the coffee shop for a macchiato, but oh no, not today.

Today, you have to endure your mother talking to you about dating. Your least favourite subject.

"Mom, I'm seriously not interested at all..." You said, holding your heavy school bag, heaving with homework and rotas for your very popular anime and LARPing clubs, on your lap.

"You are seventeen years old! It's time you got interested in boys, and not with this silly 'anime' or 'larping'." While you adored your mother, you couldn't help but be annoyed with her constant inability to pronounce the word anime correctly.

"Mom!" You drawled out with irritation, looking towards the ceiling.

The bus hit a bump in the road, and the sudden impact caused you to drop your bag, leading your books to be spewed onto the floor.

"Crap." You said to yourself, getting onto your knees to pick up the fallen books, muttering angrily at your sudden clumsiness.

"Hey."

A foreign voice alerted your curiosity and you looked up, being met with light blue eyes of a stranger.

A male one too.

After a second or two of looking into his eyes, thinking just how pretty a shade of blue they were, you registered the rest of his features, particularly noting down his square glasses, his liquorice black hair falling so perfectly, framing his round face, a soft smile on his lips, a peppering of light freckles across his nose and a ridiculously adorable overbite hanging over his bottom lip.

And he was holding some of your maths books.

"Don't worry about it." He said, the smile still clear on his face.

'Someone catch me,' You thought to yourself. 'I'm in love.'

**Nepeta: Be John Egbert again.**

"And that's how we met." You said, finishing your story, with a satisfied smile.

Dirk, Roxy and Karkat were all looking at you, mixed expressions on their faces.

Roxy was grinning like a fool, but you suspect that that was the alcohol in her coffee talking instead of her genuine happiness for you. Poor kid. You decided you would call an intervention when you were bothered.

Dirk had kept his poker face in tact, but one of his eyebrows was raised and his arms were crossed, meaning he was judging you.

And Karkat was...well, Karkat.

"You met her on the bus with her mom?" Dirk asked you, frowning slightly. Or was he just emphasizing his poker face. You never knew with him though.

"Is that seriously the end of the story?" Karkat muttered, throwing the crust of his toast back onto the plate.

"Yes." Is all you need to say.


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to chapter two! I took a day off and cranked this out for you guys!

Yes, I made Rose Wallace. Only because Wallace gives Scott advice a lot, and Rose does the same for John.

Do you guys want longer chapters less often or shorter chapters every week? Give me a heads up, kay?

Enjoy! x

disclaimer, still own nothing.

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><p><strong>Reader: Keep being John.<strong>

No problem!

It's a nicer day than usual, so you decide to walk home after practicing with the guys.

Karkat seemed a little bit more pissy then usual at the breakfast table that morning, but you ignored his attitude, like you do most of the time, blaming it on a bad night's sleep and the fact that he was still single after six months.

After half an hour of walking in the snow (which totally isn't up to your knees today!) you get to the ratty apartment that you rent with your mostly awesome roommate, Rose Lalonde.

"Just so I tell you before you hear some dirty lies from someone else, yes, I am dating a seventeen year old." You say, hanging up your coat next to Rose's. Hers is a lot nicer than your six year old jacket that you miraculously still fit into, but she has a better sense of style then you. It's only to be expected.

"Is he cute?" She asked you, gazing at you over her newspaper. She's probably reading the obituaries. She's freaky like that.

"Not this time, Rose. It's a girl." You replied, with a sarcastic chuckle.

"Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together?" She lowered her paper, looking at you, a smirk spreading on her lips.

"Do you ever get tired of that sassy lesbian routine?" You asked with a small grin, collapsing on the futon that you shared with her. It was fine though, because she's too much like a sister to you for it to be awkward, and sometimes you catch a bit of girl and girl cuddling, which is always pretty sweet.

"Should I take that as a yes?"

"Do you see another bed in here?" You asked.

**John: Survey your surroundings**

The apartment you share is perfectly nice, even if it's a bit small.

Rose has claimed ownership of mostly everything, which is perfectly acceptable, considering she paid for most of it, but lets you keep the "lame" movie posters on the wall (Con Air is an amazing movie, no matter what anyone else says) and the clothes you threw on the floor last night.

But there is definitely not enough room for another futon.

"You're totally my bitch forever, John." She has the last word before looking back at her newspaper and you can't help but laugh with a small nod.

Rose always cracks you up, even when she's not trying to.

**John: Be the boyfriend and go to practice.**

"You have to promise to be good."

"Of course I'll be good!"

It's the next day or something and you're outside Dirk's place, joined by your totally real girlfriend.

Nepeta had begged to see you and the guys rehearse (it may sound like a joke, but she did do the hands on knees thing, pawing at your coat like a cat, which most have looked totally illegal to anyone who might have been watching at the time), and you decided to humour her by letting her come to one of the later rehearsal sessions, after promising her parents that she'd be back before ten.

She'd been excited about it all week, though you weren't all that excited on her finding out you totally sucked at bass.

"No, really. Please be good." You repeated yourself for emphasis.

"I'll be good!" She insisted, tugging her coat a little tighter around her. "Am I normally not—"

"You promise to be good?" You asked her again, knocking on the door, because the jackass still won't give you a key to his place. He gave one to Karkat, god damn it.

"Yes! I'll be soooo good!" She said, putting emphasis on the so. You smiled, thinking how cute she could be sometimes.

"What the hell are you making this poor girl say, John?" Dirk asked, opening the door, obviously having caught what you two had been saying.

"Oh hey." You said with a small wave, which he returned for ironic purposes only. "This is Nepeta Leijon. Neps, this is Dirk Strider. He's the talent."

She smiled in his general direction, and he gave her a polite nod in greeting.

"Can we come in now? It's freezing out here." You asked him. He nodded again and opened the door a little wider.

"Yeah, come on in." He said. "Nice to meet you."

"He made me promise to be good." She said to him. Dirk raised a worried eyebrow, lowering his glasses and looked at you with a glare that said "What-the-hell-man."

"He...may have been kidding." He said, not looking directly at her, only judging you. "Are you normally bad?"

"I thought I was okay..." She muttered.

"Well, this was a lovely meeting, huh? Let's get inside shall we!" You said, pulling her into the house, wanting to get out of the awkward conversation as quickly as possible.

Dirk's place always seemed to be warmer than your apartment, possibly because he actually paid his heating bill, whereas you couldn't be bothered to waste money, and Rose never seemed to complain about it.

"Wow..." Nepeta looked around the front room, unbuttoning her coat. "This place is awesome."

"Hey Karkat. This is Nepeta." You said, giving your drummer a smile which he doesn't return (as usual), unzipping your own coat. "You can just throw your coat wherever, Neps."

**John: Be Karkat.**

Who the hell is this ditz? Oh, right, she's John's new girlfriend. Man, he's lowered his standards.

"Hi, sorry, what was your name?" Nepeta asked you. You gave her a look that you hope says "You're-a-fucking-dumbass-stop-dating-my-friend" and roll your eyes.

"Karkat Vantas." You said through grit teeth.

"You play the drums?" She asked you. Oh god, you could see the sparkles around her head. This is the most action she's ever got.

"...Yes..." You said, frowning. You're only sitting at the damn drums, holding the damn drum sticks. What does she expect? You're actually the guitarist to having a whack at drums?

No.

Only John does shit like that.

Jesus christ.

"That is so awesome." Her eyes are practically sparkling now, shit, are we in an anime now?

**Karkat: Be Roxy?**

Oh sweet zombie Jesus, John's girlfriend is cute.

You hoped to whatever god you believed in that you didn't look like a creeper staring at her from behind the corner.

Shit, John just saw you. Abort checking out session.

ABORT.

ABORT.

**Roxy: Be the oblivious John.**

"Hey Roxy." You looked up from tuning your bass to see the blonde teen hanging on the corner, and gave her a small smile. "Nepeta, this is Roxy."

**John: Be Nepeta.**

"Roxy Lalonde." She said, with a grin, sitting down on the seat next to you. You returned the smile, thinking how nice she was, though she smelled a bit like vodka. And you only know what that smells like because of some of the other kids at school.

"What do you play?" You asked her, wondering if she was a member of the band.

"Oh, I play Legend of Zelda, Super Mario..." She said, counting on her fingers. "Er, Metroid..."

"Oh..." She's obviously not a member.

**Nepeta: Be John again.**

"Okay, let's start with Launchpad McQuack." You said, plucking a few strings of your bass, pretending you know what the hell you're doing.

"That's not the actual title of the song." Dirk said to no-one in particular, looking up from his guitar, which he wasn't that good at either.

"WE ARE S-BURB!" Karkat shouted, as passionate as ever, banging his drum sticks together. "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!"

And then...you start playing.

And you kicked ass.

"Man, that was way too fast." Dirk said with an annoyed glance towards Karkat once the song was over.

"Oh, boo-hoo, pussy boy." Karkat replied with a mocking grin.

"You want to do it again?" He asked you.

"Let's do it again." You said with a smile.

**John: Be Nepeta again.**

This is possibly the best day of your life.

**Nepeta: Be John again(?)**

You practise a few more songs, each as terrible as the last, before you say to the other guys that you should get Nepeta home. The two of you set off to the nearest bus stop and you wait with her for the next one on her route, like the gentleman you were raised to be.

"I can't even...wow! You guys were amazing!" She said, hugging and nuzzling your arm before hur bus pulls up to the pavement and the doors slide open. "You guys are so amazing...soooo amazing!" You smiled and give her a quick hug when she lets go of your arm and gets on the bus. "S-BURB. Wow! I'm telling all my friends about you!" She's still in a fangirlish daze over the music, which you consider a mission success.

"I'll, uh...I'll come by and see you after school tomorrow, okay?" She nodded with a smile, and you waved her goodbye as the bus drove away and walked back to Dirk's house.

**John: Go back to Dirk's.**

It's about one in the morning before the four of you abscond to Dirk's room for some after practise chill out. You sit there in mostly silence, occasional robotic sounding beeps coming from Roxy's computer, what with her video games and all.

"She seems nice." Dirk noted, breaking the silence and looking over at you.

"You think so?" You asked.

"Yeah, bro. I could totally go for a high schooler..." He said with a half smile.

"I totally recommend it, dude."

You and Strider sit there, smiling, before Karkat butts in.

"John, are you evil, or are you really happy?" He asked, his voice sounding just as pissed off as usual.

"What?" You asked, snapped out of your happy daze. "Are you suggesting I have ulterior motives, or something, Karkat? Are you saying I'm a user?"

Karkat paused for a second or two before nodding. "Yeah, okay."

You and Dirk looked at each other, before his insult set in. "I'm_ offended_, Karkat." You said, staring at him, your eyes wide.

"Wounded even." Dirk added.

"HURT, Karkat." You stressed.

Karkat groaned and rolled his eyes, slapping his palm against his face. "Never mind, okay!" He snapped, just wanting you and Dirk to shut up.

Dirk wasn't always on your side, but when he was, you made miracles happen.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry about the no update last week!

My boyfriend and I have been getting ready for the MCM in May and we've been kinda busy with preparing stuff, plus we've both got exams soon, and I really need to catch up on my course work. Screw revising.

Anyway, yay, next chapter, and Thea's horrible attempt at a pesterlog.

I STILL OWN NOTHING.

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><p><strong>John: Wake up.<strong>

Oh god, what time is it?

Your phone is beeping with that annoying tune that Rose set so kindly for you, signalling that you were being pestered, and you just didn't want to get up and go find your phone. The shitty futon you have to sleep in is too damn comfortable this morning, especially because Rose had left earlier for some reason you didn't ask, giving you the chance to roll around in comfort, and you just can't get up from it. Too...comfortable. Mustn't...move. Gah.

Where was your damn phone?

Your hand slides out from under the warm duvet to pat and feel for your phone, before you find it settled against your folded glasses, and held it in front of your face, taking your head out of the pillow but not opening your eyes fully.

- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:20 -

GG: john? john are you not up yet? come on john get up!

Jade, nineteen year old younger sister and possibly the only sister in the world who got involved in her brother's life, is the one who's pestering you, and for some reason, you're not surprised at all. That was ten minutes ago. You reckon that you should feel bad for leaving her hanging, but you're too tired to do that.

EB: morning jade  
>GG: john its twelve thirty! did i actually wake you up?<p>

You sat up in your bed/mattress/thing, pressing your back against the wall, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes so you'll be able to type better.

EB: no jade, i've been awake for several hours. several.  
>GG: yeah right :L<br>GG: anyway whats this i hear about you dating a sixteen year old?  
>EB: SHE'S SEVENTEEN!<br>EB: and how did you know?  
>GG: rose told me :)<p>

You groaned and reached for your glasses, sliding them on. You felt you typed a lot better when you were able to see.

EB: why am i not surprised?  
>GG: yeah i called you last night<br>EB: why did you call last night, jade?  
>GG: because i wanted to talk to my brother! is that a crime now? :(<br>EB: coming from you, it should be.  
>GG: whatever<br>GG: anyway i called last night but rose told me you were at band practise or something and told me everything! :) scandal john!  
>EB: whatever jade...<br>GG: dont you whatever me mister! who is this mysterious child!  
>EB: her name is nepeta.<br>GG: nepeta what?  
>EB: leijon. she's swedish.<br>GG: wait until dad hears about this!  
>EB: dad's in europe! i'm not scared of your threats, jade!<br>GG: a seventeen year old swedish school girl! youre ridiculous john  
>EB: it's a catholic school too...<br>GG: OMG! with the uniform and everything?  
>EB: yep. the whole deal...<br>GG: john you haven't...done IT yet have you? :O  
>EB: no no no! god no, jade! we haven't even held hands yet! she might have hugged me once...<br>GG: um john? why are you even doing this?  
>EB: i don't know jade...it's just nice, you know?<br>EB: it's just simple and there's no drama or anything...  
>GG: its been over a year since you broke up with her john :(<br>EB: i know jade...  
>GG: so are you actually moving on or is this you being stupid?<br>EB: i'll let you know okay?  
>GG: okay<br>GG: just dont do anything stupid okay?  
>EB: okay jade.<br>GG: ill talk to you later  
>EB: okay.<p>

- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:45 -

**John: Be the boyfriend and pick Nepeta up from school.**

"I don't want to be here at all, John." Rose groaned, tucking her hands into her coat pockets.

You had to wait a couple more hours, though they seemed to fly by when on the internet or playing video games, but eventually Rose came home and you managed to drag her out into the cold again to meet Nepeta. She may insist that she doesn't want to be here, but you know she's totally lying, because she's wanted to meet Nepeta since you started dating. So you shoved on your old jacket and she kept her coat on and went on the move again.

"No, it's totally cool, just chill out. It's like in that movie Train-Spotting." You said with an oblivious grin.

She glared at you, knowing that what you just said was pretty idiotic. "Okay, first of all, in Train-Spotting, remember how he was freaking out and all worried? That was because he knew it was sick, and wrong and ILLEGAL. Secondly, remember how she was coercing him into dating her?"

You looked over at her, your eyes wide and confused. "No, dude, it's not like that at all."

"Don't call me dude, John. And you just SAID it was like that!"

"Okay, maybe I didn't watch that movie very carefully." You said, looking towards the snow covered floor.

"It's because you have no taste." She muttered with a light sigh.

"What?"

"Nothing dear."

The both of you continued walking a little while longer before you approach your girlfriend's school, the students already piling out of the school and running towards buses, parent's cars or just into the town to waste money in arcades.

"We're almost there," Rose stated. "And I'm leaving. I'm not doing this with you."

"C'mon Rose. You wanted to meet her!" You drawled, smiling towards her. "Besides, all the girls here wear totally cute uniforms!"

"I hate you, John." She sighed. She totally doesn't mean it though. She never does.

"Okay, let's just wait here." You said, leaning against the bars. She does the same, but far less enthusiastically.

"I hope you know how creepy we look right now, John..."

"JOHN!" You shook off Rose's snarky comment and looked over to see Nepeta with a group of people, who you assume are her friends. She's wearing that kitty hat that you always said was cute, probably because of the weather. She rushes over to you, a little spring in her step. "Hi!"

"Hey, what's up?" You said with a small smile. "This is my cool gay roommate, Rose Lalonde."

"Nice to meet you." Rose smiled, offering the other girl her hand.

Nepeta shook it politely. "Hi, I'm Nepeta. Do you want to know which girls in my class are gay?"

"Yes." She said, a lot more interested in staying and talking with Nepeta now. "Does she wear glasses?"

You glanced at the both of them, as a small frown spread on your face. "Uh, Rose. You go now. You leave. Begone." You said, pointing in the direction that the both of you had came.

"Aww...wait! What? John, you suck!" Rose pouted, looking back at Nepeta. "It was lovely meeting you, Nepeta."

"You too, Rose!" She said, hugging your arm, resting her cheek against your shoulder. "I'll give you the inside scoop on all the cute girls next time I see you!" She smiled.

Rose leaned forward, taking both of her hands and looked deep into her eyes. "You're too good for him, Nepeta. Get out while you can." She whispered, before letting go of her, and walking away from the both of you.

"Hehe, Rose is pretty funny! Can we get pizza or something? I'm soooo hungry!" She drawled, hugging your arm again, being oddly affectionate today.

"Heh...yeah, funny." You said, with an uncomfortable smile.

**John and Nepeta: Do the couple-y thing.**

"There's been a total collision with teams in our LARPing club lately!" Nepeta pressed, taking a bite of her Meat Feast pizza slice. Because you were such a gentleman, you paid for her, even though she insisted that you didn't need to. You were just that nice a guy. "Cus Tamara, who's on Red team right now, is into this guy Bobby, who's King of the Blue team, but everyone thinks that he has a crush on Mina, who's the Blue team queen which kinda fits, right?"

"But I thought that Derek and Tamara had a mutual liking-each-other thing going!" You asked, unscrewing the cap of your bottle of cheap generic cola and taking a swig of it.

"Well, they kinda did, but Derek is too involved in protecting the Red Queen, Lizzie, to do anything about it." She said, in-between chewing her mouthful of food. "I think he kinda likes her too though."

"Man, Derek's a player!" You chuckled, screwing the cap back on.

"Yeah, I guess." She said with a giggle.

"Your friends just crack me up. Want to go into Good Will?" You said, nodding towards the shop. She nodded, and you opened the door for her and go into the shop together.

"But yeah, LARPing club was basically fun today." She smiled towards you, before looking around the shop. "I don't think I've ever been in here before..."

"It's not too bad. You sometimes find good stuff."

She shrugged her shoulders and sauntered over to a rail of girl's clothes, looking through it, as you looked at some not terrible and pretty cheap jeans on the other side. "Most of this is bad, but not in the hilarious way." She grimaced slightly, looking over at you.

"Yeah, pretty much." You half heartedly agreed, downtrodden that the not worst jeans of the rail were a size too small.

"So, your band..." She started with a smile, still searching for the "good stuff" that you had promised.

"It's not really my band. It's mostly Dirk Strider's thing." You interrupted her, stopping the search of not terrible jeans.

"Is it a rule to always say his full name?"

"Yeah. He's too cool for just 'Dirk.'"

"Whoever's band it is, I really like it." She said, taking a ratty jumper off the rail to look at it better.

"Hehe, thanks Neps." You beamed.

"I don't listen to that much music, and, I mean, my friends play piano and stuff, but you guys totally rock!" She accentuated that last word, putting the jumper back on the rail.

"You're really stroking me ego, Nepeta, because everyone else thinks I suck. Thanks."

"Aww, I think you're awesome!"

"I'm much better at piano, trust me."

She smiled and took a nice looking jacket off the rail, looking at the size on the collar, and biting her lip lightly. "I guess this is kinda nice, my size too. I could mod it for cosplay and stuff...too bad its winter though." She said with a small frown, putting it back.

"Hey, spring's around the corner. Go try it on." She smiled but shook her head, and you asked her if she wanted to leave. She nodded and you both leave without buying anything, as you tend to do.

You keep walking for a while, listening to her talk, your arm around her shoulder, being reminded how nice it was not being single.

"You're like the first guy I've been out with who's so talented, ya know!" She said, looking up towards you.

"Have you gone out with a lot of guys then, Neps?" You asked her curiously.

She paused for a second or two, before letting out a light giggle. "No, of course not!"

"Yeah, so, whatever, man!" You laughed, making her smile.

She looked down towards the pavement for a second or two, before looking back to you, her eyes oddly wide and innocent. "I mean, I've never even kissed a guy before..."

You thought about it for a second. "It's about the same as kissing a girl." You said quietly.

"What?" She asked, obviously not hearing you.

"Nothing, nothing!" You insisted, wanting to abandon the topic.

"Where are we going, anyway? To your secret lair?" She asked, with an excited smile.

"Sorry but my secret lair is one of those "No Straight Girls" allowed deals." You said with a mischievous smile. "Rose gets confused."

"Aw, don't be mean!" She jabbed you lightly in the ribs with a grin, making you wince slightly, because her elbows were pretty damn skinny. "I like her!

You grinned back at her, somewhat awkwardly, rubbing the area she jabbed. "I'll...uh...I'll walk you to the bus stop, okay?"

"Okay!"

**John: What now?**

And now, for some weird reason, you're standing in the middle desert.

Okay, you kid. It's not a weird reason. It's just because you're dreaming. You're kinda lucid dreaming too, which happens a lot to you, but you still think it's pretty nifty.

"Oh..." You started, the almost white sand slipping through your toes as you walked. "Oh god..." You collapsed to your knees, pressing your face into the ground, your fingers curling into fists. Because you're dreaming it doesn't feel uncomfortable, and sand isn't leaking into your eyeballs or mouth like it does in reality. "Oh god, I'm so alone..."

You repeated this to yourself for about two minutes before you hear someone say "Shut up, dude." loud enough to make you take your head out of the sand and look at whoever it is talking to you.

It's a guy talking to you, standing about five feet away from you, a guy you've never seen or dreamt about before, you might add. His eyes covered by pretty rad sunglasses, and his light blonde-almost-ginger hair seemed to billow in the desert wind. His hands are tucked into the pockets of his dark blue jeans, and he wore an apathetic expression on his face, similar to Dirk's poker face.

"You're not alone, dumbass." He said, turning his back on you. "You're just having some idiotic dream." He started walking away from you, blurring in the distance.

You kneel upwards, looking at this mysterious guy as his figure faded."...Does that mean we can make out?"

You immediately wake up, wondering what the hell that was about.


	4. Chapter 4

Merry Easter Monday everyone!

Sorry about this being a short chapter, but I've had to cram a lot of last minute revision/cosplay shopping/portfolio work in over the last week, and just haven't had the time to put together a long chapter. I'll speed up my updates over the next week though, because personally, I'm very excited to write a lot of scenes for this thing and I kinda wish I could just write those :B

Anyway, enjoy the quick update!

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><p><strong>John: Hang out with the sassy lesbians.<strong>

"John, would you like the last salmon roll?"

Rose, being the sweetheart that she was, had decided to come home early that day with a higher pay check than usual, demanding that you accompany her to the local sushi place, as it was her favourite way to waste money, but still get something out of it. And because you were hungry and there was nothing in the fridge but left over's from the dinner last night, you agreed to come with her. You did like sushi after all.

"No, no, you go ahead." You said, holding your hands up. "I'm seriously full to the brim!"

"Oh, but I'm full as well...or maybe I'm just very kind?" She said with a sickly sweet smile, putting her chopsticks down next to her empty plate. "Really, it's yours for the taking."

"No, Rose, I insist you have it."

"Well if neither of you ladies are going to take it, I'll have to." Kanaya shrugged, before taking the salmon roll from the wooden dish with her chopsticks.

"You deserve that more than I do, Kanaya?" You asked her with a smile, as she bit through the piece.

"You bet." She mumbled, her mouth full of rice and fish. "That and neither of you were taking it."

You smiled and rested your chin in your hands. "Well, thanks for lunch, Rose."

"It's my pleasure, sweetheart."

"Oh! I just remembered I had this really weird dream last night." You started, poking a small piece of ginger on your plate with your chopstick. "And because you know about stuff like that, I was wondering if you could pick it apart for me."

"Excuse me, but while I love to see Rose working her magic on a poor sap like you, I'm not at all interested in whatever dream you had, John." Kanaya said, after finishing her sushi piece, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I...but...it's..shut up, Kanaya, you're not the boss of me?" You half shouted, the last statement sounding more like a question then anything else.

"Darling, I barely know you and I already own you." She said, her red lips forming a smirk.

While you liked Kanaya a lot, and was content that Rose was so happy around her, you couldn't help but wonder why they liked to pick on you so much. You knew that you dressed like a toddler who pissed Kanaya of to no end, but you honestly couldn't do anything about that.

Not that you really cared about that kinda stuff anyway.

**John: Head for home.**

After finishing your lunch with the girls and skipping out on the bill as you always do, you decided to head home, as you felt like you deserved a lazy day filled with mind numbing video games and internet before practise later that night. It's a quiet day on the bus today, so you have a row of seats to yourself without any one squeezing in the seats next to you.

For some reason, all you could think about was that guy from your dream. Who was he and what was he doing in your head? Had something triggered it? And why had your dream self been so unhappy?

While Nepeta wasn't the most exciting or adventurous person you had been with, she was perfectly lovely and sweet and it was just really nice being in a relationship that wasn't filled with constant drama or heartbreak, or anything that your...previous relationship had.

After a while of being alone to your thoughts and lamenting your previous relationships, your phone went off with a small electronic beeping, signalling that you were being pestered by someone. You shrugged off your previous thoughts, pulled your phone out of your jacket pocket and opened Pesterchum.

- arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15:36 -

AC: :33 hey john!  
>EB: oh hey nepeta! just gotten out of school?<br>AC: :33 yeah and i havent got any clubs after school tonight so i was wondering if youd come to the library with me?  
>EB: yeah sure! need books for homework or something?<br>AC: :33 yup! is that okay you havent got purractise until later tonight right?  
>EB: yeah, it's fine! i'll probably be there soon anyway<br>AC: okay ill s33 you there! 3  
>EB: see you soon!<p>

- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] at 15:41 -

**John: Head for the library.**


	5. Chapter 5

**OKAY WOW  
><strong>I am a massive butt, and haven't updated this in a while. I am very, very sorry to all the darlings who are reading. I love you all, be my matesprits *kiss*

I've had college stuff to get ready (starting in September, eep!) Homestuck updates to read, meet-ups to go to, all that shabang, and I haven't had a lot of time to write. But it's summer now, so I shall try to have an update for next week! I WILL TRY, I DESERVE CREDIT FOR THAT RIGHT D:

Luv u all. Enjoy this short update x

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><p><strong>John: Work harder than you ever have before.<strong>

"Okay, that should do it!"

You let out a quiet grunt as Nepeta dropped another thick encyclopaedia onto the ever growing stack of heavy books in your arms. Keeping to your word like the gentleman you insisted you were, you had met her at the public library around ten minutes ago after receiving her message, and insisted on helping her find the necessary books for her homework, like a good boyfriend. And while you knew Nepeta went to a private school for all the smart, rich kids and you hadn't been in high school for a while, you never remembered high schoolers having this much homework on school nights.

However, Nepeta didn't seem fazed by the amount of work she was going to have to do. She even looked a little happy about it. Maybe she was used to the amount of work. Maybe she was just a happy person in general. You could never really tell.

"This is really weird..." You said quietly to yourself, as the two of you left the non-fiction section. She turned to face you, a small frown on her face.

"What's weird?" She asked.

"Libraries always reminded me of elementary school..." You muttered, looking around your surroundings, a grimace on your face. Shelves of books that you had read during your school days (or said you'd read and actually just looked up the plot on Wikipedia to make yourself look smarter and to pass basic English) towered over you, almost cornering you. It intimidated you in a way, and made you feel quite small.

"Wow, that must seem like such a long time ago..." She said, tugging her green coat a little tighter around her petite frame, ready for the brisk Toronto air.

"Yeah...ugh, let's just not talk about that." You groaned. As the two of you walk down the stairs towards the checkout, Nepeta fumbling with her bag to retrieve her library card, you're alerted by a familiar and thick Southern voice.

"Yeah, just sign here...yeah, thanks."

"...Oh my god." You muttered quietly to yourself, almost dropping the heavy stack of books.

It's the guy from your dream. He existed. He was an actual living, breathing person. Who lived in Toronto.

**HOLY SHIT.**

You blinked a couple of times, just to make sure you weren't seeing things, but no. He remained standing there in all of his cool kid glory.

God, you must have looked so creepy right now.

His hair looked a little more out of place then it was in your dream, and his cheeks were red, but it was him. He was dressed differently too, wearing black boot-cut jeans, a red t-shirt (T-SHIRT! IN THIS WEATHER?) with a pixelated record on it and a leather jacket to top off his whole image.

A leather jacket!

You loved leather jackets. You fell in love with them when you first watched Ghost Rider at the age of eleven, and you witnessed the glory of Nic Cage in one, and at that moment, you aspired to one day be as cool as he was.

"Um, John...?" Nepeta tugged at your sleeve lightly, hoping to alert you of her existence and get you to stop thinking about leather jackets and Nic Cage, but she doesn't do it very well. "Hello, can you hear me?"

"Uh huh..." You kept your gaze fixed on this mysterious (and if you hadn't mentioned before, really, really hot) guy, watching the lady at the checkout sign his clip board. He took it back with a polite nod, removed a skateboard from under his arm and rolled out of the library with almost immediate speed.

"Did you know him?" Nepeta asked curiously.

"No, I..." You started, walking back down the stairs, eyes still wide like a rabbits. "I don't think so?" You dropped the books onto the checkout desk, and Nepeta handed the lady her library card. "Isn't it too snowy to be skateboarding..."

**John: Be the dumb bassist.**

"John...you with us, bro?"

"John, you dumbfuck, snap the hell out of it!" Karkat's shouting is the thing that alerts you from your daze. You shook your head lightly, and turned to Dirk apologetically.

"Heh, sorry about missing a note or two."

"You only played one note in that song, dude." He said, shaking his head.

"Oh...my, er, my hand slipped?" You offered, not so much a statement and more of a question.

"Is your **girlfriend** distracting you?" Karkat spat, with an annoyed groan.

"I'll be quieter!" Nepeta insisted.

"She didn't even say anything though..." Roxy muttered, taking a sip from her martini glass.

"Everyone shut up. Let's just do that one again." Dirk resolved, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah, alright, whatever." Karkat picked up his drumsticks again.

"Waffle..."

**John: Do the dreamy thing.**

You're staring down at the strings, strumming at your bass like nobody's business. Dirk's at guitar and vocals, leading the group like he always did, and Karkat's at the drums. Crowds of people are screaming "SBURB ROCK!" and you couldn't help but smile.

It's a dream, of course. Your band kinda sucked outside your head, after all. But you dreamed so vividly, you could practically feel the heat of the lights you all stood under.

You always tended to dream about success. You were that good a friend.

However, the illusion is short lived, when the mystery dream guy glides through the disappearing crowd on his skateboard, his leather jacket zipped up to his chin.

"I'm dreaming." You said, your own voice drowning the music.

"Good call." He said back to you.

And then you wake up.

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><p>Edit: My temporary beta reader told me you don't use a pick for the bass. Fail on my part, yo.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, so it's not technically Tuesday in my country, but ya know what, whatever! Have an update.

Thinking about going through previous chapters and doing a little editing here and there. Just spruce it up a little, ya know!

enjoy x

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><p>"Oh my god, why is it sooooo cooooooold?"<p>

It's almost nine in the evening, and you're walking to a destination you don't know with your respected band mates and Roxy.

You literally didn't know this was going to happen before you showed up on the doorstep. You kinda just turned up at Dirk's place for band practice, but he told you to keep your coat on, and dragged your sorry ass back out the door. And because you were a massive pansy when it came to him, you didn't fight back and allowed yourself to be dragged.

And it seriously was so cold, you were surprised you were still alive. It wasn't snowing at all, but the crunch of ever present snow under your feet confirmed how cold it was, if you ignored the fact that every time you breathed, it looked like you were exhaling smoke. God, why the hell did you move away from Washington anyway?

"Whatever dude, it's fuckin' spring out." Dirk rolled his eyes, presumably.

"Dirk, where are we gooooooing?" You asked again, probably for the fiftieth time that evening, glancing at the icy floor.

"I've told you like fifty times already, yo."

"Well, I forgot, okay!"

"So it's my fault you're stupid?"

You paused for a second or two, looking up from the ground and towards him. "...So where-"

"I'm seriously not even telling you now." He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose with his gloved fingers.

"Just tell meeeeeee!" You whined, tugging at the sleeve of his coat, before he shrugged you off.

"We're going to that party, you fucking moron." Karkat said with a louder groan, far ahead of you as he always was.

"At Janie's!" Roxy added happily, despite the fact she was probably hungover.

"Well, at least someone caters to my disability." You muttered.

"Shut up, butthead." Karkat spat, and you did.

**SBURB: Go to the lame party.**

"Holy shit, this party totally sucks." You groaned, clutching the red cup filled with shitty cheap beer.

"The booze isn't even that great, geez..." Roxy agreed, but she kept emptying her own cups, despite the quality. You wondered if she even liked drinking, and purely liked being drunk, but your thought are quickly ignored.

"I'm gonna go pee out of boredom."

**John: Go pee.**

Nah, you don't actually have to pee. You decide to go pester Dennis.

Dennis was a pretty chill guy, despite the fact he got trashed at pretty much every party he went to. And he went to a lot of parties, so he got trashed about as much as Roxy did.

But he was incredibly social, so he knew pretty much everyone. And you hoped he knew your mystery dreamboat in sunglasses.

**John: Pester Dennis.**

"Dude."

"John, my main man." He offered a bro-fist which you accepted. "What's going down? Still got that lame ass band thing goin' with my bro, Dirk?"

"Yeah, we're still lame ass." You said, sitting on the stair below him. "Some party though, right? I thought Dirk and Jane has broken up."

"They did." He laughed, taking a swig from the beer in his hand. "Dirk tells me that they have a 'just friends' thing goin' down right now, but I'd bet anyone like fifty bucks that they still bone on a daily basis."

"Probably." You agreed. "Hey Dennis, you know everyone, don't you?"

"I wouldn't say everyone, little dude, but yeah, I know everyone. Why?"

"This may sound kinda vague, but do you know this one guy with sunglasses and ginger hair that's not Dirk?" You asked him.

"You mean Dave?"

"Yeah, him." So mystery dreamboat had a name. You liked the way it sounded in your head.

Dave.

Daaaaaave.

You could get used to that name.

"He's Dave Strider, bro-ham. Someone told me he's at the party, knows Jane well or Dirk invited him or some shit. Why, got a homo crush on him? He's probably a total gay, but he's totally hardcore, yo."

"He's here?" You practically yelped, standing to your feet quickly. "Shit, I really have to go look for him!"

**John: Search for "Dave Strider"**

You made your way quickly through the seemingly never ending crowds of laughing, chatting, probably drunk, not obsessed with a guy they saw in their dreams, people, keeping your eyes open for that one flash of ginger hair, that wasn't Dirk's.

You kept your beer stoically at your side, trying not to spill any of it on someone you probably wouldn't know, and apologise for your carelessness. And then you saw him, and you clutched your cup so hard, it spilled the majority of the shitty beer onto the floor and on your hand.

Thank god for hard wood flooring.

He seemed looked different every time you see him, but he always looked so familiar.

Instead of his apparent work attire, or the clothes he wore in your first dream, he was wearing a red dress shirt, lazily unbuttoned to give an impression of carelessness, showing off a black sleeveless shirt that clung to _everything that mattered _and made his pretty sweet abs clear. And instead of the jeans he normally wore, he wore tight leather trousers that shined in the light he was bathed in in your head.

Wait, hold up.

He was wearing leather trousers.

**OH MY GOD, THAT WAS THE HOTTEST THING ON THIS SIDE OF TORONTO.**

He was so out of your league, it hurt. But you swallow all your regrets and decide to walk over him and try to strike up a conversation.

You only live once, after all.

**John: Confront the cool kid.**

"Hey, what's up?"

He turned to you, and you grinned an embarrassed grin. You couldn't see his eyes, because he was wearing those shades that reflect stuff, so when you tried to catch a glimpse, you were only met by your own dumb look.

"Not much." He said, his Southern accent thick.

You afraid to speak, mostly because you're scared that all you'll be able to say is gibberish, so you mostly just stare at him awkwardly stare at him, which is clearly unsettling him, because he looks visibly uncomfortable.

You need to strike up a conversation of some sort, so you don't look like a creeper or anything.

Say something, damn it.

**SAY ANYTHING.**

"...So, uh, do you know Ghostbusters?" You're talking about Ghostbusters with probably the coolest of cool kids in the world. Mental face palm.

"I guess I know of it." He said, with a raised eyebrow, taking a sip of shitty beer.

"Heh, well, uh, the orginal title was gonna be Ghost Smashers. Haha, how dumb would that have been?" You laughed, trying to make your useless film trivia more entertaining, mostly for yourself.

"...Not as dumb as you sound right now." He answered, shaking his head, almost like he was sorry for you.

"Uh..."

"I dated a guy who sounds like you do now. Always sounded unsure of what he was fuckin' sayin'." He took another sip, turning his attention away from you and back towards the crowds of people.

"...I'm just gonna leave you alone forever now, bye." You mumbled, admitting defeat and turning away from him.

"Thanks kid." He muttered against the beer cup.

You were just insulted by your mystery dreamboat in sunglasses. And yet, you're still in love in every way, shape and form.

**John: Stalk him until he leaves the party.**

Stalk is a really strong word. You're gonna go with followed and watched intently. Like those hot guys from vampire movies.

**John: Freak out and tell Roxy all about it.**

"OHMYGODROXYI'MTOTALLYNOTDREAMING!" You babbled loudly and quickly, papping her front like an excited kid on Christmas.

"Whattya talkin' bout, Jawn?" She slurred, showing that she was clearly drunk, despite how much she disliked the poor quality alcohol.

"HE'STOTALLYREAL!" You shouted at her with an eager smile, when she probably heard you just fine.

"Who now?"

**John: Pester for more information.**

"Okay, okay, so what do you know about him?"

You and Dennis are sitting on the stairs now, after you pounced on him again, asking for more information about 'Dave Strider'.

"He's related to Dirk in some way. Half brothers, maybe? I don't fuckin' know, the asshole won't tell me." He started, cracking open another bottle of beer from his own pack. He was BYOB kinda guy. "He's from America though, and he's been in town for two weeks, livin' in an apartment Downtown. Dunno if he moved here or if he's just visitin' Dirk though and the asshole won't house him or some shit. You could ask Meenah and Aranea. I saw him talkin' to them a while ago."

You decided to do just that and looked for them both.

You found them (to be fair, Meenah was easy to spot, with her Mohawk and metre long braids) in a crowded corner of couples making out, and while you knew make out time was important for them, information about Dave proved to be more important.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but do you guys know Dave Strider?" You asked, tapping Aranea on the shoulder, knowing she was the one least likely to punch you in the face. She pulled away from Meenah with a small smile, wiping some drool off her lips with the back of her hand.

"Don't be sorry, John! Yeah, Jane introduced me to him, but he seems like a bit of a dick."

"Total dick more like." Meenah added, putting an arm around her girlfriend and holding her hip possessively against hers. "He had a total 'holier-than-thou' attitude. Totally not hot, huh babe?"

"Yeah. Besides, I think he's seeing someone back in New York, if I know your intentions."

"Yeah, totally. Just forget about it, John, he's a douche bag anyway."

You shrugged off their comments, left them to their make out session and went to go find Jane, because she probably had the most information about him then all the other people at the party.

**John: Find Jane.**

"Hey Jane, who invited Dave Strider?" You asked, the words 'Dave Strider' becoming more and more friendly with your lips. Jane stopped talking to Dirk and turned to you.

"Oh, I did, silly!" She smiled.

"Oh wow, really? How do you know him? I thought he was from New York."

"That little fucker is from Texas and he fucking knows it. Moved to the Big City to become a musician, and now he's a delivery boy. Irony to the nth degree." Dirk chuckled, a hand on Jane's shoulder. It was either a really friendly break up or they were dating again. Not like you cared that much.

"...Well," Jane started. "He got a job working at amazon as a delivery boy and he kept coming into the cafe where I work and I-"

"You made friends with him, because you make friends with everybody?" You asked, finishing her sentence for her

"Precisely! He left New York because he went through a big break up or something and just wanted to start something new."

"Oh reeeeeeally?" You sang, a somewhat shady smile spreading on your face.

"John, don't even think about it, dude." He said, like he was telling you off. "Dave's nothin' but trouble behind those cool kid shades. In fact, as your front man and self proclaimed best friend, I forbid you from even thinking about him." He folded his arms, making it clear that he was to have the last word.

"Aw, but Diiiiiirk!" You drawled.

"No buts, young man!" He snapped.

"I don't know if it really was a big break up either." Jane mused, a finger to her chin in thought. "He's really vague about it and just keeps mentioning some guy called Sollux so I had to piece it together my-"

"Besides, you're dating that cute high school chick now!" Dirk cut her off with that annoying-though-it-really-shouldn't-be reminder.

"I know, but there's something about him that's so-"

"FORGET ABOUT IT, JOHN!" He cut off your fangirling.

Like hell you're gonna forget about it though.

You just needed to try harder.


	7. Chapter 7

Gosh, sorry for the wait, guys! My computer cacked it for a couple of days, and while my replacement was super flash, she didn't have my files, so I couldn't update :c  
>But here I am now! This chapter isn't as long as the others, but I kinda wanted to write a little JohnRose cuteness, because I'm a greedy motherfucker.<p>

p.s if anyone wants to draw fanart, that would be just fantabulous

enjoy x

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><p><strong>John: Get woken up.<strong>

"Guess who's druuuuuunk!?"

The door was swung open, letting cold Toronto air carrying little flakes of snow into your not heated apartment and the light was switched on, alerting from your dreamless sleep, by your normally sober roommate.

"I guess Rose..." You groaned, slowly opening your eyes and getting used to the room being filled with bright light. It actually stung a little

"You guess right!" She said with a giggle, sitting down on the shitty futon.

"Do you know what time it is, young lady?" You muttered in your best impression of Dirk, wiping sleep from your eyes with a tired yawn. "Besides, I thought you didn't drink."

"I don't normally, but Kanaya took me to one of her parties, and the waiter kept offering me wine, so I took a glass and it was really, really good, so I just kept drinking and now here I am!" She smiled, as if her escapade was healthy.

"You didn't drive here, did you?" You asked, sitting up, suddenly not sleepy and more worried about a potential accident that you would have to clean up in the morning.

"Nooooooo, Kanaya dropped me off, silly!"

"Why didn't you go back to her place then, so you wouldn't have to disturb my beauty sleep?" You growled, no longer worried, getting back into your comfy and warm duvet cocoon.

"She has a project that she needs to turn in in a few weeks, so she wants to spend as much time on it as possible." She sighed mournfully.

"Your life is just so hard, Rose..."

"It's a difficult life..." She said with a small laugh, slumping down on you, and you responded to her assault with a small mutter curse, which she merely smiled at. "So, how's John tonight?"

"John's okay." You said, glancing back at her. "...It's just, I went to this party with Dirk and the others tonight-"

"Of course..." She said, cutting you off. Most of the people you were friends with tended to do that.

"And I saw this one guy there..."

"Guy...that's new."

"And I think I've been dreaming about him. I saw him at the library too."

"Library, right..."She murmured, before turning her head to gain eye contact with you. "Can I pretend you're talking about a girl?" You nodded.

"And then I'm at the party and...ya know, there he is." You turned onto your back, with a lazy sigh, glancing at the ceiling quickly, before going back to looking at her.

"There she is." She said, a smile on her lips. You rolled your eyes but she was listening, so you didn't say anything.

"I think I'm in love with him." You pressed your hand against your face with a small groan. "...But something's bothering me..."

"Oh yeah?" She asked, turning onto her stomach. "Spill it."

"Well, I've been saying he a lot." You said, sitting up. "So he's totally a guy. And I haven't dated a guy in forever. Ya know, like six years. Since high school, Rose!"

"And the issue is?" She raised an eyebrow at you.

"He's like totally an alpha male, Rose. I can't be a beta. I've never been a beta!" You threw your arms out to exaggerate how much of a big deal this was to you.

"And of course, there's Nepeta." She muttered, but you ignored her, because damn, everyone brought Nepeta up.

"I CAN'T BE A BETA, ROSE. Maybe I should start working out..." You said, looking down at yourself. You had puppy fat on your belly that should have pissed off long ago, and your arms were scrawny, considering that you've never lifted a weight in your life.

"And there's Nepeta?" She said again.

"Oh god, you should see him, Rose. He's so...so handsome; it's really hard to believe he actually exists." You smiled a dreamy swoon, and didn't even care about the fact that you're fangirling.

"John."

"Yeah Rose?" You said, being snapped out of your dreamy state.

"Normally I love talking about your sad, sad excuse of a love life, but Mama Rose is drunk and sleepy and she needs to work on a new chapter tomorrow."

You smiled as she switched the light off and take her fancy clothes off, throwing them to the floor (because secretly, she was as big a slob as you were) and you made a space for her on the futon. "Night, Mama Rose." You said with a quiet laugh.

"G'night John..." She curled up next to you in the duvet with a pleased sigh, probably because you were being quiet and you had made the duvet warm for her with your slumber before.

You turned around to look at her, because you were in a good mood and she was sleeping, so she wouldn't call you out for it.

Rose was a really pretty girl, you had always thought that. But you weren't attracted to Rose. Like, at all. You might have been, in another universe, but her friendship was more than enough for you in this universe. You smiled to yourself, and took out her Alice band, because if you didn't, it would hurt her tomorrow.

You needed to treat your mama right, after all.

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><p>I hope that didn't sound creepy. I just wanted it to be cute ;A:<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Early update, weeeee!

In which Thea reveals some things relevant to the future plot and drabbles about bacon and eggs.

enjoy x

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><p><strong>John: Wake up.<strong>

Do you have to? Now? God, it must only be six in the morning or something.

Your eyes slid open slowly, the scent of bacon and eggs being the first thing to hit you, and you rustled around in the duvet a little, to try and wake yourself up before you even attempted to speak

"Guh..." You were going to say 'Good morning' but you totally weren't up for that right now. This would have to do.

"You're finally up!" Rose said, in an out-of-character enthusiastic tone, leaning over the kitchen counter. She was wearing her old Squiddles t-shirt and if you weren't so tired, you'd be amazed that it still fit her. "I'm making myself some lunch, want any?"

"Uh huh..." You nodded, still not bothering to put together coherent sentences. It was too early for that.

"Are you hungover or something?" She asked you, before going to the fridges to receive the promised eggs.

"I'm not hungover, Rose...I barley drank anything last night." You said groggily, sitting up in the futon and reaching for your glasses. The thing about you not drinking much was very true. If you recall correctly, most of your beer ended up on the floor.

"Oh right." She smiled, cracking two of the eggs into the sizzling pan and shovelling the crispy bacon onto two plates for the both of you.

"Why are you so cheery anyway?" You asked, running your fingers through your hair. "You drank loads last night..."

"I did, but unlike you, I have to get up and write, so I got over my hangover just like everyone else." She said with a serene smile.

"Writing is a hobo's career anyway..." You muttered, sliding your glasses up your nose.

"That may be, but it pays better than whatever you're doing. Besides, it's one in the afternoon so I've had enough time to get over it." She smirked and stayed silent for a minute or two, waiting for the eggs to cook. When they were finished, she put them onto your plate of bacon, and gave them to you. You exchanged your lunch with a tired smile and a grateful nod.

**John: Eat the bacon**

Gladly.

**John: Internet time?**

"Hey Rose," You said, glancing up at her, chewing the last mouthful of your lunch. "You know that online store, amazon? Sells books or something?"

"Yeah?" She mumbled, her mouth full.

"What's the website for that?"

She stared at you for a second or two, her forkful of bacon and eggs hovering inches from her mouth. "...Amazon dot ca." She finally said, and in seconds you were up from the futon and sitting in front of the shitty computer Rose bought for like a hundred bucks.

"Cool, thanks!" You started up the computer, and typed the url into the search bar and clicked the first result that came up.

"Okay, what exactly are you planning on doing on this website that you know next to nothing about? Have you had a sudden impulse to read, or something?" She asked you, getting up and taking both your plates, though you knew she probably wasn't going to wash them for at least a few hours. Conserving water, she called it. More like total laziness.

"I just have to order something totally cool..." You mumbled, scrolling through all the results you got from typing in Ghostbusters.

"...Care to elaborate?" She sat back in her armchair, reaching for a magazine.

"Sorry, I was distracted by the internet." You said, your gaze still transfixed by the amount of Ghostbusters loot you could own in exchange for your money. "I'm just ordering a new game. This is the right credit card info on here, right?"

Rose rolled her eyes but nodded anyway.

You kept scrolling through the pages for about two minutes before you realized that your pesterchum icon was flashing.

"Oh hey, someone left me a message on Pesterchum!"

"I'm so happy for you, John..."

"Hey, now I'm reading it!" You smiled, and scrolled up the chat box, scanning the text as you went. Whoever had pestered you had a lot to say."Caligulus Aquarium started pestering at 6:12...wow, whoever this guy is, he left the message pretty early...man, his quirk is kinda hard to read."

"Do you have to add commentary to this experience?"

"Dear Mr Egbert. It has come to my attention that we will be fightin' soon. My name is Eridan Ampora, and I'm a...blah blah, cahoots with Dave Strider...yadda yadda, duel to the death...hmm, this is..."

"What?"

"This is-!"

"What is it, John?!"

"This is booooring!" You drawled, tilting your head back with an annoyed groan. "Deleeeeete."

**John: Play the waiting game.**

"John?" Rose glanced at you over her magazine with a raised eyebrow.

"Hmm?" You turned to face her.

"Are you waiting for the package you just ordered?"

"Haha, no, of course no-maybe." You said with a shrug of your shoulders like it wasn't that big of a deal.

"That's kinda dumb, John. Like really kinda dumb." As she spoke, the really obnoxious doorbell started ringing. You stood up with a satisfied and somewhat smug smile.

"You were saying?" You slid the chain from the lock and opened the door, but instead of being welcomed by your delivery boy crush, you were pounced on by your fake high school girlfriend.

You caught her in your arms with a small grunt. "Jeez Nepeta, who put caffeine in your juice this morning?"

"Hehe, it was just a tackle hug, silly!" She giggled happily holding you close, and nuzzling your shoulder.

"No need to be so eager all the time..." You chuckled half heartedly, gradually letting go of her, though she clung onto you like a cat.

"Sorry, I guess I'm used to Equius catching me!" She giggled again, and let go of you. "Anyway, what do you want to do today?"

"What do you mean?" Your think pattern tended to cop out when you were around Nepeta, and you didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

"Remember? We're hanging out today! You were going to take me to get the new Spiderbite album!"

"Heh heh...how could I possibly forget?" You grinned awkwardly, and glanced back at Rose, who was smirking behind her magazine, because she hadn't reminded you, despite the fact you had asked her to.

"I'll wait for you to get dressed, okay?" She smiled sweetly, and you forced a smile to make her happy. She was just a kid after all.

"Okay."


	9. Chapter 9

**MERRY (early) CHRISTMAS!**

yeah can we not mention that there hasn't been an update of this thing in a crazy long time.

I was never going to abandon this. Shit just got super real after August cus I started my first year of college back in September, and the workload that I have to put in makes me really, really sad. It's like an essay a week, shit ton of art to do. It's just a nightmare 2/10 would not go back (oh wait i have to to get a levels ha)

But yeah, a lot happened in the space that I was gone. I started college, I went to October MCM (where I stared in the Homestuck Panel as Nepeta, thank you very much) and updates with some new characters and stuff! A lot has happened in those months!

Let's try and get this thing back to updating more frequently.

(also sixteen year old female seeks a beta reader who can put up with too many spelling errors, and enjoys long walks on the beach please and thank)

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><p><strong>John: Do the boyfriend thing<strong>

Oh god, do you have to?

No, you were happy. You were totally happy to spend all your free time with your girlfriend instead of concocting more plans to meet your delivery boy crush. So happy.

Okay, you're just lying to yourself now, and it's getting past the point of being sad. The whole 'dating-a-highschooler' deal with Nepeta had recently become such a chore for you, and only a part of you felt bad for thinking that way.

But here you are, putting up with it day after day, taking Nepeta to the same café, to get the same food, and then dropping round the same thrift store, and looking at the same clothes and saying you'll buy them when you actually have the money, just like every day, for the past two months.

You deserved a fucking medal for putting up with this shit.

So, you and Nepeta walked through downtown Toronto, after you had gotten changed into something that made you look semi-presentable, her eating her regular meat feast pizza slice, you drinking a can of something that tasted cheap and sugary, making your way to whatever store was open at two in the afternoon on a Saturday.

"Gosh, I'm starting to get really bored of anime club!" She said, biting into her pizza. "It's like it's all just blurring into one big mess!"

"Yeah, I bet that stuff sure gets old fast. What with all the flashy lights and…cute girls with exaggerated limbs." You muttered, taking a swig from your can, trying to remember whatever you knew about anime. You didn't know very much.

"And I mean," She started, her cheeks stuffed with bread, cheese and assorted meat. "There's only so much a girl can put up with, ya know!"

"Yeah, that stuff sure does get old fast…" You muttered, walking in the direction of the closest hipster music store you could see and dragging her in.

"I know, right!" She said with a smile, following you into the store. "But luckily, a friend of mine got into Spiderbite a few weeks ago and wouldn't shut up about them! Hehe, and now I heart them just as much as you guys!" She smiled again and waltzed down the indie rock section, searching for her desired album.

"What's so special about them…?" You asked her, glancing at some various CDs by bands you had never heard of. "I mean, what have they got that we don't?" You pulled a Moscow Drug Club (or that was the name on the case) album out, inspecting the disk jacket, before putting it back where you found it, your interest diminished.

"Well, not like you guys aren't awesome!" She glanced up at you over the rack, her eyes shining with delight. "Even your grumpy drummer kicks ass!"

"Karkat." You pointed out, flicking through various CDs.

"Yeah! But Spiderbite are really, REALLY good. I read Mindfang's blog like everyday, she's soooo deep! I'd love to meet her one day!"

"No you wouldn't…" You muttered under your breath, abandoning your quest for decent music, and looking in the rock section instead.

"Like, oh my god, she's just…gah, she's my idol!" She then let out a small squeal of joy as she plucked out the album that she was looking for, her face ecstatic. "I found it!"

"Great." You said with a less than great expression. "Can we go now?"

"Oh, hello John!" You looked up from Nepeta at the sound of a familiar voice, and see Jane on the other side of the CD display, her party attire from the other night abandoned for a more practical thick coat and scarf for the weather outside. "Fancy seeing you here!"

"Hey Jane, what's up?" You smiled and nodded in her direction, and she returned a courteous nod.

"Oh, same old, same old." She said with a polite smile, before glancing over at Nepeta, her smile slowly becoming a friendly grin. "And who's this?"

"Oh…this is Nepeta, my uh-" Friend? Girlfriend? Kid I'm babysitting? God, what were you're feelings for Nepeta anymore? You hardly knew yourself.

"Hello, I'm Nepeta, John's girlfriend! Nice to meet you!" Nepeta, of course, knew the right answer to your question, but despite it being the right answer, you couldn't help but grimace a little.

"Oh, of course John would go for the cute one, hoohoo!" She grinned saucily in your direction, and you could sense your pranksters gambit going down at her hands.

You turned to Nepeta and gave her an incredibly wrinkled ten dollar note from your back pocket. "Nep, you wanna go pay for that album?"

"Okay!" She said, taking the money and prancing to the counter to pay for it.

"You're a lucky boy, Egbert. She's a keeper!" Jane smiled again, and gave you a friendly nudge with her elbow, which actually kinda hurt.

"Oh yeah…" You said, rubbing the spot where she nudged, trying to hide how much pain you were in. "She's a keeper alright."

**John: Take Nepeta home.**

Gladly.

Later that afternoon, after spending about three hours in the arcade, you walked Nepeta to her bus stop, her clinging onto you, and you begrudgingly holding her hand like the good boyfriend you totally were, talking about your life story like you did most nights, and tonight the subject was your family.

"So your sister goes to U of T, huh? Hehe, that's so cool!" She said, smiling from ear to ear. "What are your parents doing in Europe then?"

"Parent. And I dunno, really. Gallivanting…spending euros on things…romancing my roommate's mom. You know the story." You tried to shrug off the whole conversation, because frankly, it wasn't the kind of conversation you liked that much.

You both walked a little longer, and with each step, your grip on her hand become looser and looser. You glanced down at her. She was so little, so young. You couldn't do it tonight, you wouldn't let yourself break her heart.

Not yet anyway.

"I'll walk to the bus stop myself." She said, letting go of your hand. "You live the other way and I wouldn't want to inconvenience you so much."

"Are you sure? It's no trouble." You insisted.

"Yeah, I'm sure." She smiled up at you, and if you weren't so fucking heartless, that smile would make you want to fall in love with her all over again.

"Um…thanks, I guess." You smiled back at her.

But before you could flinch, she had her arms wrapped around your neck, standing on her tiptoes and pulling you down to her level, so she could kiss you. It lasted for a second or two, and a part of you enjoyed the warmth and comfort from the young girls lips, but the other part of you, the part that seemed set on running your life, couldn't handle the closeness and made you pull away from the kiss, as if your soul would leap out of your body if you kissed her for a millisecond more.

She blinked at you, a little confused as to why you pulled away so quickly, and you can only give her an awkward grin back.

"Heh…um, yeah, okay, that happened." You said too quickly, giggling with nervousness between each word. "I'll, uh, see you at band practice tonight, okay Neps? See ya!"


	10. Chapter 10

Hey all!

Sorry about the late update. There was an issue Tuesday night, and I just didn't feel like updating until now! Plus I've had complications with my new laptop and it's been a hassle. But here it is!

enjoy x

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><p><strong>John: Go home.<strong>

After your moment with Nepeta over (and thank God it was) you walked home in the falling afternoon snow, trying to shake off the memory of the kiss.

It was basically out of no where! Two months ago, she wouldn't even hold your hand she was that embarrassed of your affection, but now she was all about kissing and hugging and showing everyone just how much of "a thing" you two were.

You only hoped Dave would never see you in public with her.

"Has my game come yet?" You asked as soon as you got through your apartment door, taking your old jacket off and shaking the extra snow off of it.

"John," Rose started, glancing at you over her newspaper with a raised eyebrow. "I really, REALLY hate to break this to you, but it's the weekend."

"...So?"

"So..." She put the newspaper down for a second to properly look up at you. "Nothing's going to ship until Monday. And frankly even that's thinking optimistically."

"**NOOOOO!**" You were so heartbroken at this sudden surge of bad news that the only remedy of your problem was flop down on the futon and curl up in the duvet, trying to resist the urge to spill the beans as to why you were really ordering the game.

Rose tutted quietly and returned to her paper, reading whatever article she found interesting. "Why are you so eager anyway? It's just a game...and a dumb game at that too."

"I'm choosing not to answer that question, cus I'm gonna sleep for the next sixteen or so hours..." You said, your voice muffled by the pillow that you were burying your face into. "So I can lament. About how much everything sucks. Because it does."

She let out a little huff and papped the duvet bundle you created lightly with her free hand. "Come on, don't you have band practise tonight?"

"No. My band sucks and I suck."

"John. You know that Dirk will be really upset if you don't go again." She said, putting extra emphasis on "really" and "again."

"Will you ever stop ruining my plans with your dumb lesbian logic?" You demanded, throwing the duvet off of yourself, and standing up again, so you could drink tea, or have a snack before going to practice.

"Never." Rose muttered, with a self satisfied smirk, before returning to her paper.

**John: Go to practice, even though you really don't want to, but you're just that nice.**

You're all standing in Dirk's living room after practicing a song together, Karkat playing a beat with his drums, you experimenting with chords on your bass, and Dirk strumming random notes, when he drops the ball.

"So..." He said, glancing up at the two of you. "I got us a show. Congratulate me one at a time, please."

Before either of you say anything, Nepeta dives in front of Dirk, in a fangirlish frenzy. "OH MY GOSH, WHEN?!" She shouted, clutching her hands together like it was a dream come true.

Karkat let out an annoyed grunt as he put his drumsticks down. "Dirk, those who have been in the industry as long as I have call them gigs. Get with the program, fucknuts. When is it?"

"It's on Wednesday, at the Rockit." He answered, strumming a few more chords, which coincidentally all sounded pretty bad. "Yeah, this guy at work was like 'Hey Dirk, do you know anyone in a band?' and I was like-"

"Yeah, that's a really great story, Dirk." Karkat interrupted with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh gosh, Wednesday night?" Nepeta said. "Um...okay, I have to make it. I'm going to have to pull a lot of strings, but you can count on me to be there!" She smiled, looking pleased with herself.

"Hey, don't worry if you can't make it, Nepeta." You said, seeking an opportunity as you put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I mean, we totally suck anyway."

"But John!" Karkat said, his voice slightly more over dramatic than normal. "She's like our biggest fan."

"Yeah, if she makes it we could send her and Roxy out to tell the audience that we're actually really good." Dirk said with a small and quiet chuckle.

"No no, I have to come now! I'll find a way, don't you worry about it! And hey, maybe I could bring a couple of my friends along to." She smiled up at you, and you did your best to return the smile.

"Awesome. Or you could just say you have a study group or something. A study of yours truly, of course." Dirk smirked to himself, as he turned his amp up a little.

"Because who wouldn't want to study Dirk 'narcissistic asshole' Strider?" Karkat muttered, picking up his drum sticks again.

"So...who are we playing with anyway?" You asked, turning to Dirk.

"The Midnight Crew. Flew in from New York to play this gig too."

"Jeez, you mean that crew...that's, like, midnight? Urgh, I hate those guys!" You spat with a grimace.

"John, you hate against everyone we play with." Karkat said.

"Yeah, well, I especially hate those guys..."

"Whatever, shithead. We're gonna play a bit of Emerald Terror, that okay with you, frontman?" Dirk shrugged, as the three of you started playing again.

**John: Play long into the night, before going home.**

That was the plan all along.

**John: Do the dreamy thing.**

And suddenly you're in a dream again.

The setting to this one is a little different compared to your older dreams which took place in halls or deserts. You seemed to be in an empty school hallway, lockers, plastered with posters or high school stickers, on both sides of the plain walls, and only one way to walk, towards a door at the end of this hallway.

You slowly walked down the hallway, your bare feet mysteriously cold against the artificial black and white tiling, before you hear something further, but getting closer and closer.

In a second with your back pressed against the wall, a flash of orange and black skateboarded past you, and you notice it's the delivery boy of your dreams again, but he was carrying a package in his arms. And for some reason, you knew the name on the package.

"John Egbert."

And that's when you wake up, get out of your empty bed and answer the door to...

Dave Strider. Who was holding your package, and ringing your doorbell.

And this certainly wasn't a dream.


End file.
